13 Worst Home Photos in 2013

Between all the heavy food for the Holidays, it may be time for some lighter fare.

In the Realtors' database of homes for sale (the "MLS"), one can see a lot of awful photos.

I'm a big contributor: I take a truckload of bad photos, but still, I must wonder if whoever took those photos – mostly the real estate agents, only with expensive properties also professional photographers – couldn't pour just a bit more love into it.

So as 2013 closes, here are my winners for this year:

This is one corner of one of the rooms in our house.

Someone else's belly, not mine

If you wake up drunk in your new home, that's the view.

Landscaping is for Loosers.

Everything here's for sale... if the price is right and if you really want it.

Our family believes in preparing for emergencies. Of all kinds.

Never mind the wet towel. It'll be gone by the time we move out.

My flash reaches farther than your flash.

I waited a long time until three cars came rushing by perfectly lined up.

My, what a big generator...

Sometimes when a boat comes by, it gets a tad darkish in the house.

Sorry, but I couldn't be bothered to A) hold the camera straight B) to open the window C) to turn of that flash.

The kitchen of this home comes with ceiling lights.

By the way, the last photo is of one of my masterpieces. It never saw the MLS, but my clients and I had a good laugh about it. – If you have a good contestant at hand, would you share it with me?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Snowmen kissing, Feldafing/Bavaria 2000. ©tckaiser

Art Miami 2013 - Impressions and Thoughts

In the choice between Design Miami and Art Miami, art won this year – I was blessed with preview tickets to both events on Tuesday evening.

A few thoughts, from a naive and uneducated layperson's perspective:

1. a friend of mine is a curator and gallerist - how much fun must it be to walk an art fair with a pro!

2. there was a clear differentiation from tent to tent (Art Basel - Context - Red Dot), becoming funkier and odder each time.

3. Lots of interesting art, but very little I would hang (which means nothing, coming from a terrone like me). Some of the exceptions include especially two lovely Milton Averys, at just under $1m each.

4. A flood of Calders, paintings and mobiles – where did they come from?

5. It seems odd that there is not as much gallery specialisation or focus – at least not visible to me – as I thought in this market would be. Is everyone really selling everything? (not a total serious question).

6. Miami is becoming so in. Art is already in. Both together: even inner. Best to be seen slightly unshaven, a bit sloppily dressed, driving a Maserati or at the very least a black Range (nice cars both), having a very pretty woman approx. 20 years younger hanging from your arm, with endlessly long legs and impossibly high Blahniks. Now you belong.

An LED-lit wire sculpture floating above our heads, by Michael Gard. Excellent.

"The Selfish Gene", painted bronzes by Marc Quinn at Forsblom

Didn't take any notes on this one. Bad Tobias! Likely at Rudolf Budja Gallery

"Reveur" (Dreamer) by Cyrille Andre, at Piece Unique

"The Conversation" by Milton Avery at arcature

Blue stones (marble?) moving up and down - riveting! By Paula Rivas at Aldo de Sousa

Not an objet d'art but a very campy Westie-vase

Lifesize bronze by Chinese artist Xie Aige, at Michael Goedhuis

(Three Bathers), another lovely Milton Avery

Render: "Chinoiserie" (vases inside out) by likeable and enthusiastic Molly Hatch, at Todd Merrill

Did you see the show? And what were your thoughts?

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Photos ©tckaiser